A little confusion
by GarGoyl
Summary: Pure crack one-shot. Lord Death summons his ex-lover for help against the Shibusen's foes. A little 'confusion' on her behalf which Kid does nothing to clear will cause trouble... A/N – this is not really an O/C story, and you'll see why…


**A LITTLE CONFUSION**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater**_

* * *

"I have some urgent business to attend to somewhere else in the City, so today you will take my place. I should be back until nightfall, but in the meantime you will have to take care of everything around here," Lord Death said solemnly as he floated towards the door of his grand audience hall. "I have all the confidence that you will do just fine, Kid…"

"Yes, father"

The younger shinigami sighed, wrapping the black 'official' attire around himself and pulling down the white skull mask over his face as he settled himself in Shinigami-sama's chair. It was a great responsibility to be left to see to his father's business, even for a day, and he hoped everything was going to go smoothly.

* * *

"Shinigami-sama, _a certain someone_ has arrived, just as you asked of them," a servant suddenly announced, abruptly pulling Kid out of his dazed boredom. Honestly, he'd been in there for hours, unable to do anything or to leave his father's audience hall. Glancing at the servant, the young shinigami also realised that the man bowing respectfully before him had no idea that his father wasn't actually there. _And he didn't bother telling me that he was expecting a visit today… Why on Earth did he leave anyway?_ It wasn't much of a surprise though, since unfortunately Lord Death was as scatterbrained as he was wise.

Snapping shut the book he'd been absentmindedly leafing through and placing it aside, Kid waved his hand in a vague gesture. "Very well, send them in…" Of course, this was rather unexpected, but as long as he remained calm and collected everything would be just fine and nobody would know it was him instead of his father.

The man promptly shuffled to the other side of the door, proceeding to address someone yet unseen. "Shinigami-sama will see you now," he announced, standing aside and allowing a willowy figure to slip inside the large hall.

"Shinigami-sama… you've called and I have come," the newcomer said in a sensuous voice, taking a bow in turn, once the doors were closed.

Kid squinted from behind the mask, observing his guest. The girl had light blonde hair waving down her shoulders, carefully studied curls arranged in perfect symmetry on each side. Her eyes of a very dark blue were shadowed by long eyelashes, in contrast with her unnaturally pale face. She wore a long, bright red silk dress imprinted with a multitude of black geometrical designs (now just how 'risqué' was that?), again displayed in surprising symmetry._ Now who is she?_

"Indeed… you may come closer," he said reluctantly, waiting for her to get to the point. It briefly crossed the shinigami's mind that maybe he should have stood up in the circumstances – Lord Death always stood during his audiences, donning his looming posture – but then he noticed that the black tasseled cloak had somehow gotten seriously tangled around his feet. Deciding that tripping and falling on his face would probably betray his identity, aside from making an awful impression, he remained seated, straightening his back.

"I must say that I was very surprised upon receiving your letter," the girl said, advancing towards him. "We sure haven't talked in more than… a hundred years maybe?"

_So… not exactly a young girl, is she? _But then again his father knew all sorts of people, Kid pondered. A vampire, this one, judging by the almost translucent shade of her skin. She moved slowly, hips swaying alluringly under the tight silk garment, threatening the fragile symmetry of its designs at every step. He was interrupted from his observations as the guest stopped a few feet away from his chair, her head slightly tilted to the side and her face bearing a quizzical expression.

"Are you alright, Shinigami-sama?"

Kid gulped. He was clearly doing something wrong, or not doing something right, either way there was something that had drawn her attention, but what? He should have stood, he knew it! But that could have proven hazardous, not to mention the tassels hung terribly askew all the sudden – no, he couldn't risk looking at them, it was too horrible, too horrible!

"I am quite fine…"

"Oh, then why are you being so formal with me, _Grigori_? We are all alone now!" the blonde pointed, sporting somewhat of a confused scowl.

_Grigori… _Kid knew that in a distant past his father had worn many names, but he didn't recall this one. Well, admittedly there were a lot of things he didn't know of Shinigami-sama's past, since Lord Death was always so mysterious and secretive. And that being considered, how the hell was he supposed to pretend that he _was_ him? Before he could even begin to think of an answer, the girl walked up and sat casually across his lap.

"Now, you know this just won't do…" she said with a grin, nimble fingers moving rapidly and flicking the skull mask upwards. A bit forcefully, since it fell altogether, landing onto the carpet with a light thud.

_Ah, shit!_

A look of utter surprise came to her face upon the discovery of his true appearance, but it was rapidly replaced by the same mischievous grin from before. "I have to say, you look a lot better than the last time we saw each other, even if a bit… young, maybe?"

What? _Unbelievable! Could she still be thinking that I am my father?_ That was clearly the moment in which Kid should have told the truth and cleared the misunderstanding. But then the gorgeous girl perched onto his lap would have probably stood abruptly, pulling away from him with some awkward apology.

'I'm not Shinigami-sama, he's not here today. I'm his son…' Kid mentally confessed, but the words never made it past his lips. Instead, he said something entirely different. "See, it's because I'm running this school," he explained calmly, "I need to know everything that's going on inside and this… appearance has allowed me to pass as a student and snoop around"

"I see…" The blonde's grin widened and she let out a soft chuckle."Kinky"

Her fingers found their way gently into his hair, caressing the raven black strands. "I missed you, Grigori…" And then suddenly, without a warning, her mouth captured the young shinigami's, in a passionate kiss. The world went black and spun in Kid's head as his mouth was so devoured. In the back of his mind he vaguely became aware that the chair was tilting dangerously backwards and his hands gripped the side handles so tightly that his knuckles went white.

"….and so I was thinking where to start because it looks to be a complicated matter. Oi! Are you teasing me?"

Golden orbs blinked a couple of times in utter confusion, staring at the girl who had pulled away for some time now and was apparently explaining something. Ah hard as he tried, the young shinigami could not make anything past the idea that he'd just had his very first kiss with a complete stranger, all thanks to his honorable father.

"E-excuse me, what?" he stuttered awkwardly.

She shook her head. "Definitely teasing me, you're always teasing me! I'm talking about your letter, Grigori!" she said waving said letter in front of his eyes. Kid's eyes darted rapidly in that direction, trying to catch sight of what was in it. Of course, his father had written nothing short of a damned novel!

_Dear Roslyn, _

_I know that much time has passed and many words have remained unsaid between us… I hope you will find it within you to forgive me. I only took the liberty of asking for your help once more because… _And that was as much as he could read before the blonde took away the paper, folding it with care and stuffing it back into her pocket.

_Great! Not only is she father's mistress or something, but apparently also one he's screwed up with… just marvelous! _Kid mentally facepalmed. At least he knew her name now, but he was clueless as to what his father had summoned her for. _If only he would hurry back… _He had to distract her somehow from the accursed letter.

"Um… Roslyn, actually… you've just arrived. So I was thinking that maybe we could talk about my letter a bit later?"

"Hmmm…" The mischievous glint sparking in her deep blue eyes and the grin which accompanied it made the young shinigami realise that maybe his phrasing hadn't been the most inspired. "Well… it has indeed been too long since we had a little time together, so I don't see why not"

_Little time together? Oh no, this is wrong! This is very wrong!_

"I know!" the blonde suddenly exclaimed. "Why don't you show me that little garden? Ah, those red roses in full bloom, I'd love to see them up close!" she squealed, pointing to the large balcony visible outside the grand audience hall windows. "Come!" Instantly, the girl sprang to her feet, gripping Kid's hand and pulling him off the chair. Just as he'd anticipated, the damned cloak showed him no mercy and the first step he took ended up with him tripping and falling flat on his face at the blonde's feet.

"Awww, you! I see you haven't changed at all, my little honeybun! Still clumsy…" Cupping his face with both hands the moment the young shinigami finally scrambled to his feet, Roslyn placed a quick peck on the tip of his nose. She then took his hand again in hers, intertwining their fingers.

"Grigori, I have a question," she said, gazing somewhere towards the horizon once they were outside.

_Oh hell…_ "Yes?"

"Do you have someone else? Is that why you're being so reserved with me now?"

Kid gulped and blinked a few times. "N-no, absolutely not! My dear Roslyn, I just… wasn't sure you had forgiven me…" he offered shyly, secretly pleased with his capacity to improvise. Now he could only hope this was actually the truth… She seemed genuinely happy with the answer, because the wide, cheerful grin was back on her lovely face. Oh God, she was so beautiful…

"You know what? I think that this disguise of yours looks very authentic," she observed. "Ah, you even blushed!"

_Great!_

"I think I would like to take advantage of it…" Roslyn said, wrapping her arms around him and pushing him gently towards the couch placed conveniently in one corner. And Kid did not oppose.

…...

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

* * *

A gloomy mood surrounded the small tea table. Shinigami-sama couldn't have been any less amused, in fact he was down straight angry. Next to him, his former mistress looked exasperated and his son beyond uncomfortable.

"How could you do this to me, Roslyn? You cheated on me with my own son! You damned witch!"

"Ha! _I_ cheated? You call this a cheat, when you went and had children behind my back, you old fart!" the blonde snapped back.

"This is not true!" His white mask took a more apologetic expression. "I could never, it wasn't that way! Kid was created from a piece of my own soul!"

"Bullshit!" The girl seemed to ponder for a moment. "Wait! If that's true, if he's a part of you then it means he _is_ you. So how is this cheating? It's you I've-"

"Don't twist my words, damn it!" the Reaper shouted. "And how could it occur to you that I'd embodied myself as a… as a young boy like that?"

"Nothing would surprise me, you've always been cracked!"

Kid already had a pounding headache from all the yelling and by the look of things it was going to be a looooong evening… He just wished he could disappear – this was beyond horrible. And he had terribly disappointed his father, on top of everything. _I'm scum! I'm garbage! I should go die in a hole!_

"And what do _you_ have to say for yourself, young man?" Shinigami-sama demanded, watching his son intently.

"F-forgive me, father, but you said…that I should take care of everything in your place and-" Kid looked up and saw Roslyn smiling at him from the other side of the table. She winked. "And you dumped her anyway, so why can't I-"

Shinigami-sama's large hand descended abruptly and hit him in the head with full force. "Don't be cheeky with me!" he shouted, but in the next moment he hid his face in his palms and sobbed out loud. "Oh Roslyn, you don't love me anymore!"

Suddenly there was a large puff of smoke where the blonde had sat and a moment later Excalibur was standing in the middle of the tea table.

"FOOLS!" he declared, sticking his cane up in the air. "The beautiful Roslyn doesn't want to have anything to do with any of you!"

**THE END**


End file.
